Bangalore diaries - the first 4 days

It’s been 4 days now in Bangalore. I am staying in a hotel in the outskirts of the city. The place really looks like a village. I haven’t been anywhere except for office and hotel and a mall for lunch. And on the way (via car) I didn’t find any place to visit. To summarize I haven’t got the slightest idea about the place and what I am going to do this weekend.

The office mates are pretty busy with work. I have a few folks from my previous project with whom I have spent some time in office which has been good for the otherwise boring days. The only saving grace has been a friend of mine who has been giving me company for lunch in 3 of the 4 days. Apparently that has been the best time spent here so far.

The weather hasn’t been too good either. Coming from Delhi at this time of the year, the Bangalore weather seems hot to me. Weather was supposed to be a plus point here but even that hasn’t been helpful. I haven’t felt charged up for one moment since leaving the airport.

This seems to be going on to being a pretty depressing blog. This shouldn’t have been this way but unfortunately this is this way and all I have stated so far is what I have felt. Maybe staying alone so far from home is taking its toll. Or maybe I am still struggling to get used to things here. Or maybe something else is wrong somewhere. After all being in a new place should make you enthusiastic at least in the initial days. In fact I was all charged up for this trip but somewhere something has gone missing.

I think I should stop writing now as it isn’t making things better. Hoping that the weekend will get things going in the right direction.

1st day away from home

There are certain things you want; you want to do/try things even when you are not sure how they would turn out. You desperately want to know how it feels but somewhere deep down you actually don’t want to do them. It’s like you want to do them and you don’t want to do them. How many times have you been in such a situation where in you have actually done it?

Today happens to be one such day for me. I have come to Bangalore on deputation and today happens to be my first day in here. As I am writing this blog sitting in a hotel room with plenty of time with absolutely nothing to do, I am wondering if I am enjoying it. Well, to be honest I don’t know. On one hand I have this complete freedom with no responsibilities once I am away from office; on the other hand I miss the things Mom used to ask me to do.

A sense of loneliness is beginning to creep in. and thinking of how long the stay might be I feel like running away from this city and go home. Come to think of this – I have never been away from home alone all my life. And now I am all alone in an unknown city. Of course I have friends here and I am sure I will settle in soon; but for now …

The stay here brings with itself a whole new bunch of things – an unknown city, an unfamiliar culture, a new atmosphere and loads of interesting opportunities. It is just like any other trip. Just thinking of the places I might go changes the mood completely. But when you come to think of the fact that you are here for official purpose, the mood changes again. I mean I could certainly have done without taking this project. But then I wanted to take the project for exactly the same reason. It looks gloomy when I think that I am away from my family, away from my home, away from the known. But it looks encouraging when I think of the challenges, the scope of seeing new places and giving me the exposure. Overall it looks like a coin – heads and tails can never be the same yet they are part of the same coin – you can’t separate them.

Things should get better as I spend more days here. Today being the first day I guess this was bound to happen. Lets’ see what the coming days bring in. As of now my first day in Bangalore is coming to an end.

100 Blogs

WOW - I have finally reached the 3 figure mark. I can't stop myself from saying "Bravo".

It all started as a tryst some 5 years ago on a friend's suggestion. It took more than 1.5 years to get in the habit of writing blogs. I got used to it and soon it became a hobby - in fact an addiction. My mind was constantly searching for things to write upon. Every night I would sleep thinking about what I would be writing the next day. Many topics got washed out in sleep but many made it to the blogs. Gradually writing slowed down. Not sure why but it took a back seat. But still I managed to sneak in a blog or two once a while. And now I stand writing my 100th blog.

The journey has been great so far. There have been many constant companions giving their opinions and views on my write-ups as well as thoughts. There have been many wonderful journeymen in the way where our paths crossed for a while. All in all it has been a thoroughly enjoyable experience. I am sure the journey will continue.

Thanks to all my readers for your time and comments. I hope you will continue to read my blogs and leave your comments.

Movies - what do you remember about them

What do you remember most about the movies?
Story?
Acting?
Songs?
Dialogues?

Until and unless it is a dialogue like “Tumhara naam kya hai Basanti” or “Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai” I don’t think you remember either of the mentioned things. Some songs do stay in memory for long but not because of the movie.

So what is it that one remembers most about a movie? For me it’s the circumstances or the incidents leading to or during the movie. And as I think of it there are some which I remember instantly

‘Welcome’ starring Akshay Kumar and Katrina Kaif somehow tops the list. We (I, Manjeet, Pomey, Abhishek, Ujjwal and Sanjeev) had gone to watch the movie during office hours without informing anyone. While the movie was in progress the project leads tried calling us but we missed their calls and it was a mess afterwards :)

‘Pyar ka Punchnama’ – watched it with Kunal and Febin. It was a complete laugh riot. More so as we compared the three characters with Kunal, Febin and Sahil. We still laugh when we remember the movie.

‘Zindagi Na Milegi Dubara’ – watched it with Sahil and Febin; probably the only movie we three have watched together. It was a wonderful movie no doubt and the food at Sahil’s place after the movie was wonderful.

‘Road Movie’ – this movie is remembered for all the wrong reasons. Watched it with Shubhi, Kunal and Dheeraj. I and Kunal were literally thinking what we were doing sitting in the hall while Shubhi and Dheeraj said that they actually liked the movie. Well, if someone asks me movies to avoid at all costs, this movie tops the list for me.

‘Murder 2’ – watched this movie with Kunal, Smita and Febin. The 4 of us actually watched the movie buying 3 tickets only. Read http://strictly-my-views.blogspot.com/2011/10/movie-without-ticket.html for more.

‘Love Aaj Kal’ – watched it with Manas. The day we watched this movie was Friendship day and we were the last people to get the tickets for this movie for the show. We watched the movie sitting in the 1st row – seat no 1 and 2.

‘Jhoom Barabar Jhoom’ – well our company decided to take the entire SBU to watch this movie. The entire hall was booked for us. About the movie, well the lesser said is better :P

‘Pirates of the Carribian: On Stranger Tides’ – watched this movie with Febin. It was the 11:40 PM show and the movie was way longer than expected. Reached home around 2:30 AM. From next morning onwards the upper limit to reach home was set to 12 midnight :(

‘Jurassic Park’ – this was my first movie ever at a cinema hall, so this has to be part of the list. And I don’t know how but I had actually fallen asleep in this movie.

‘Break Ke Baad’ – watched this movie with Minakshi. We were supposed to have a paper on this day, but due to some mishandling on the part of the university our name was not there. So we could either go to the main campus and enquire or watch a movie. We decided to do the latter.

‘Dhol’ – watched this movie with Supreet, Sachin and Manisha. It was during my part time MBA where we were studying. The mid-term was going on and we had given the morning paper. There were 2 papers scheduled the next day. I asked if anyone was game for a movie. To my surprise all of them agreed and we ended up watching ‘Dhol’ instead of heading home and studying.

‘Ghajini’ – watched this movie with Hina. It was the first movie I watched at Shakuntalam. The interiors were more like a old college auditorium than a movie hall; and the interval snacks were same as a college canteen.

‘Rocket Singh’ – watched this movie with my mom and sister. My mom doesn’t usually go to movie halls. But I insisted and took her assuring her that if she doesn’t like the movie then we’ll leave early. But she liked the movie.

There are many more movies which are fondly remembered for some reason or the other. If you remember any such thing about a movie then do post a comment; and if it involves me then you must definitely write about it ;)

Waiting for your comments…

The list remains...

The last few weeks, I have felt, there is a lot of work to be done. Work on all facets. I have somehow been avoiding/delaying them for no apparent reason. Avoiding because I probably am not ready to spend time on them. Delaying probably because I am not sure what needs to be done. Laziness probably is behind both.

Didn’t someone say “With time everything will be alright”? I am probably waiting for time to take care of things. Time, however, has failed me so far. Probably Time needs more time.

Someone else said “If you want it done, do it yourself”. I start doing things with enthusiasm, determined to finish it. I set deadlines. I manage to finish some of the stuff. For others, I make a plan and promise to follow it.

Things keep piling on. Some take high priority. A few get thrown out because of not doing them on time (they have their consequences). Most increase their scope. I keep looking at the list determined to reduce it soon.

Someone said “It’s more important to enjoy the journey rather than reaching the destination”. I decide to enjoy the stuff and do it thoroughly. I start picking up things related (but avoidable) to the stuff I am doing. Time passes by. The list grows.

Someone said “Take time out for family and friends and spend time doing things you enjoy.” I take a break. I enjoy the time as it flies by. The list grows.

Someone said “If it is to be, it is up to me”. I have to clear the list. I start with vigor. I finish a few stuff. I feel energized. I continue working more. I look at the list. It looks messy. I decide to redo the list. Prioritize and plan better. The new list looks good; even beautiful to some extent.

Someone said “Beauty is only skin deep”. I re-checked the list. None of the stuff had moved out, they were re-aligned. I start working. It feels good to work with a proper plan. I look at the list. It looks at me mockingly and says “I am still the same – a few things here and a few things there doesn’t change anything.”

Someone said “Alcohol doesn’t solve problems, but neither does milk”. I decide to go for tea. A no of cups later the problems still exist. I try the ostrich way. The things don’t change; the neck hurts now.

Someone said “Whatever happens, happens for a reason”. Does it mean the delay was meant to happen? Or does it mean I am always reminded of the things to do because they need to be done?

I guess there will always be things to do. Whether it gets done or not depends on your desire to do them; and maybe on the circumstances. There are times when you don’t feel like doing things. There are times when you are unsure about what to do or how to do. There are times when you need help. There are times when you know things need to be done but somehow can’t/don’t do it. These are the times when your thinking becomes all messed up and your decision making is hindered. Of course there are times when things take care of themselves. People will keep saying things on every situation and often different people will say different things. It is up to you to decide what advice you want to follow.

For me the list still remains…

Movie without ticket

I, Febin, Kunal and Smita (Kunal’s wife) had gone to watch a movie. We asked Kunal to buy the tickets and he did so. As we entered the movie hall the guard at the entrance asked for the tickets as usual. Kunal was at front of the four of us and I was at the back. As I reached the guard he asked me for the ticket and I said I was with them. He allowed me to go. Then we entered the audi where our movie was to be shown. We proceeded towards our seats. Kunal was leading the way. As he sat down we asked him the seat numbers. He whispered that he had bought only 3 tickets. We were like “what the hell”.

We gave Kunal a stern look. I asked him to go and buy the 4th ticket; to which he replied he’ll do so in the interval. When Febin asked him what would we do if all the seats get filled, he had no answer. He just said “We’ll see when it actually happens” Febin told him that if the case arises he’ll have to buy 4 more tickets as we all will be moving out.
Ours was 3rd row from the screen and the hall was almost full. Instead of watching the ongoing ads we started looking at the gate to see how many more people are coming. Ours were middle seats. The seats on either side were almost filled. People started sitting in the row in front of us. Slowly (it seemed an eternity but actually it was around a minute or two) the no of people entering reduced and started settling in their seats. There were still some empty seats in front of us for contingency – you never know what might happen :P. Luckily things went fine. The movie started. The hall was completely full upto our row. The people stopped entering and we had a sigh of relief.
Of course we didn’t buy the extra ticket in the interval and had a good laugh on it. Every time Kunal is with us and goes to buy the ticket we remember this incident and ask him to buy the exact no of tickets.

When clarification leads to confusion

There are 4 friends – let me call them A, B, C and D (B being the only female in the group) for the sake of anonymity. They happen to be good friends; happened would be a better word now. A series of incidents occurred leading to a lot of confusion and a few fights. Here’s how the things went:

A and B had a fight which lead to their not speaking to each other for some time. C and D were not (supposedly) aware of it. As things turn out between friends, soon A and B were back to talking to each other although after some heated conversations/clarifications. During one such conversation B had vowed never to call A if the next call went unanswered. Of course that didn't happen and soon things seemed to be normal. But it wasn't to last long.

B spoke to C about her fight with A and inquired from C if he felt any indication of A being upset with her. C said that he felt something was wrong because when he had asked A about B, A had replied “why would she call me”. A wasn't aware of this conversation between B and C.

In one of the succeeding conversations with A, B asked A if he really believed that she wouldn't call him again. A answered in the negative and asked B what made her think so? B said that she got to know from somewhere that A had said “why would she call me” on being asked about her. When A asked “Who said this?” B wasn't willing to answer that question. A continually kept asking B the same question whenever B initiated a conversation which resulted in their not having much of conversation.

A had used the words “why would she call me” with only 2 persons C and D and had a hunch that it would have to be either of them who had said this to B. So A while having a conversation with D, asked him what all he had said to B. D was shocked by the question as he hadn't had any such conversation with B. In fact D didn't have any context of what was going on between A and B. A explained the situation to D. D didn't like it at all and blamed B for creating confusion between him and A.

It was A’s birthday. B, C and D along with another common friend had decided to buy a gift for A. B was to buy the gift online and have it delivered to D’s house. D was to handover the gift to A on his birthday. During the purchase of the gift, D had asked B to provide her account details so that D could transfer his contribution to B. B said that she would do so once the gift was delivered and liked by A. D had asked the question thrice and didn't like the response from B. In the meantime all the above mentioned things happened. So D stopped picking/responding B’s calls/SMS. D got stuck in office work and got delayed. B wasn't aware why the gift wasn’t delivered yet. C was out of town and D wasn't picking her phone. So B was worried as well as confused. D came to A’s home late at night to deliver the gift. Along with the gift they all had decided to give together D got separate gift for A while the combined gift was given with only B’s name on it.

A sensed something was wrong and asked D as to what was going on. D mentioned the conversation he had with A sometime back and also recalled an incident from the past. (The incident went something like this - B had jokingly said to A that she had a conversation with D. At that time B and D weren't quite friends so A couldn’t believe it. When A tried to confirm from D about the conversation D said he never had a conversation with B) Combining the 2 incidents D decided to close all relations with B as twice the actions of B had caused confusion between A and D. A tried to clarify B’s standpoint to D but to no avail. At that time D also told A about how the 4 of them had planned the gift and a brief of their conversations.

A called up B to understand what was going on and also convey D’s stand. They had a long conversation wherein everything - mentioned so far in the post - was discussed in details. The viewpoints of all 4 people was talked about and debated. B also said that her reason for not saying the name to A was to prevent any frictions between A and C. And B was hurt at how things turned out and blamed herself for her role in it. She also pointed a few fingers on A on his involvement. A had to agree to some of it.

The outcome of all these is as follows:

D is not talking to B
B is hurt because she didn’t intend to hurt D
B is upset with A
B is hurt for she thinks she could have done things differently
D is upset with C for C’s role in the things
A is skeptical about C
C is unaware of all these
A is upset with D’s standpoint on B

Having said this I am wondering what went wrong. Is there a chance things could have been different? If so, what could have been done differently? Was A wrong in seeking clarification as to who wasn’t keeping the conversation to himself? Was B wrong in trying to avoid friction between 2 friends? Was B wrong in trying to identify if things were smooth between her and A? Was D wrong in feeling that B was responsible for creating confusion between him and A? And subsequently severing all ties with B? Was C wrong in clarifying B’s doubts? Was B right in sharing with C about her fight with A? Was A wrong in thinking C broke his trust?

Friendship is one of the best gifts someone can have. It is to be valued and cherished. Often it is the only thing left with people when things go wrong. Here there are 4 friends who value each other and would spare no effort to make sure that their friends are fine. But the friendship is now caught in a storm. How should A, B, C and D feel about each other and what should be the state of their friendship? What can each of them do to come back to a steady state?