Aur khud se milne ki saari liney vyast hai...

A few days back I received an SMS from a friend which included these lines -

"Duniya se milne mein hum sab mast hai,

Aur khud se milne ki saari liney vyast hai"

Somehow these lines stuck in my mind and I spent sometime going over these. And I realized that these carry a deeper meaning than what catches the eye; especially the last line - "Aur khud se milne ki saari liney vyast hai" (a translation in English would mean something like 'all roads leading to meeting you are busy'). This line sums up pretty well the way people are today - they have time for everything except for themselves. People are very busy tending their jobs, meeting deadlines, obliging the social commitments, catering to family needs, etc, etc. But when it comes to their hobbies they don't have time; when it comes to doing what they want they don't have time; when it comes to fulfilling their dreams, they don't have time. In fact many people don't even find time to dream, set their goals, tend to their health, relax.

Its strange that people know all along that they need to relax, take a break before resuming their daily chores. But they postpone it to grow further in their career. They feel that a few steps more and then they will be able to be in a better position to enjoy. Once they take those steps they go for a few more steps and the cycle continues taking them to a point of no return. And by the time they realize this they go too far which takes a toll on their body, on their mind, on their relations, on their heart, and they cannot undo it. Some end up being very successful while others don't but the end result in terms of their personal life is same. And then they regret neglecting all the things that should have been a priority rather than postponement.

It brings up the question that what should one do? On one hand you need to find time to spend with yourself but on the other hand you need to be spending extra time in your job to go past your competition which is immense these days. So can one blame you for not spending time on things you like instead of doing things that you must in order to grow in your career. Tricky question. But I guess the answer is simple. Extra hours of work doesn't necessarily mean more output. Efficiency is the key. If you look at the definition of efficiency it is output/input. The more input you put in the lesser is your efficiency. And why would you need to put in extra effort? Because you are not sharp mentally, because you have lots of things on your mind, because you are tired, because you are not happy. And why is it so? Because you are not looking after the most important person that is YOU. And if you don't look after you then your efficiency is going to decrease. And there is a extent to which you can push yourself with the possibility of reviving yourself; post which you will not be able to go back.

So you will have to take it as a priority to look after yourself, pamper yourself, indulge yourself in activities you like without caring about others. No matter what take sometime out everyday for yourself and do what you like. This will not only make you feel good but also help you do well in other things because a well-oiled machine will always give a better performance (here I am taking the liberty of calling you a machine - the best one ever created by the almighty himself).

Go and meet yourself, spend time with yourself and make sure you have a good time :)

Shouldn't I be complaining?

Of late I have been seeing the behavior of a few friends change. That could be just my thought or that could be reality. I would tend to think they are as I see them. I will quote a few instances and you decide for yourself.

Let me start with KS. We have been very good friends for quite sometime. But I have seen some changes in him in the last few months. There have been quite some instances -

He had a self imposed ban on him from drinking and as a friend we (we here refers to a group) never forced him. But one day while travelling to a friend's marriage he didn't refuse on being asked by a guy we met only the second time.

He used to find time for friends but since getting engaged (almost) he has been it seems always on phone. So busy that he didn't even pick a phone of a bus mate who was running a little late.

We were watching movies. In the interval we asked him to bring us some nachos and pepsi to which he refused. Had he been asked by a girl or a relatively new friend he would have brought it.

Earlier he was game for parties but now he always comes up with a 'NO' one way or the other. Not that he doesn't go to parties but its just he prefers going with his team rather than friends.

Earlier he wouldn't mind attending parties even if he himself had to host one. But now suddenly he can't afford to party citing reason that he doesn't have money. But he has the money to finance his fiancé's trip and also to give party to his new project team for no reason whatsoever.

We were on bench for sometime and had loads of fun. He got a project a few days back and since then he has turned busy with little or no work. He prefers sitting on his seat doing nothing rather than sit or go out with friends.

Enough of KS I guess. Lets talk about SS. We were in together in my last project and were a close knit team. One day I saw his status on gtalk saying "Boston, USA". I was surprised and pinged him. He said he had just come. When I asked him why he didn't say anything before leaving he gave all sort of excuses.

Moving over to SG. We are friends since XII standard. Its been some time since we are in regular contact but once a while we do talk. But for last few months he had almost disappeared. I got the news of him getting a job from a common friend. He never bothered to call and share the good news.

Then there's SD. She went to UK on a 2 weeks trip but that got extended. And she didn't even bother to tell this.

There's another SG who is married now and in Bangalore. She booked a new car. she had been telling about buying the car all along but when the day of arrival of the car finally came she didn't bother to share the news. That again came from a common friend.

It seems I am complaining. Well I am; I have a right to do so. I can understand friends not wanting to share bad news but not wanting to share a good news is strange. At least for me. I will be waiting for your comments.

Everything is dependent on others; or is it?

A few days back it was raining as I was going home from office in the office bus. It had been raining for quite sometime and as a result there was a lot of water on the road. We were crossing the Kapashera border (Delhi - Gurgaon border). As I looked out of the window I saw hordes of people walking. It was time for them to go home as well. Most of them work in the factories in the surrounding areas. People in the bus were cursing the rain as whenever it rains the roads are filled with water and it creates traffic jams. And I agreed with them. Then I looked out again and saw the people walking in water logged roads, rain falling steadily on them. Some of them had removed their shoes and were holding them as they walked.

I remembered the days when I had to go through rain in the similar way. I never quite liked that. I remembered the days when I used to travel via public conveyance. I still do that but the frequency has reduced to very low. And now as I listened to the people in the bus cribbing about the water logged streets and as I saw the people outside walking on such street fully drenched I wondered if I should join the people inside the bus in cribbing or should I feel happy that at least I am not out there on the road; I wondered what the people outside would be thinking and should I pity them for having to go through such ordeal (if I may call it so); or should I just ignore everything and sleep for sometime. No point in guessing that I chose to sleep.

It seems to have become the pattern for people nowadays. You look at people who are better off than you and you crib about your life. You look at people who are not as well off as you and you feel happy about your life (or do you feel sad about them - No both are not the same). You see people smiling and feel why can't you smile like that. You see people do things and feel upset as to why you can't do it irrespective of whether you have tried it or not.

It seems strange, doesn't it, that your actions, happiness, sadness, life is dependent on others. Does it really have to be that way? I don't think so. But I see it everywhere, all around; people discussing others rather than themselves. And if I speak to them their response is "you don't/won't understand". And then I decide to mend my own business.

Bio-data instead of Resume :)

K came up to me and said "I committed a blunder yesterday" and here's the conversation that followed -

K - "And you are going to laugh about it"

I - "And what exactly did you do?"

K - "I have made mistakes before but nothing like this. And the worst part is I never realized it"

I - "But what exactly did you do?"

K - "Here's what happened. I had sent my resume to Infy through S. S called me yesterday and asked "Why did you mention your height and complexion in your resume?". I replied that I didn't. To this S said "But the HR was saying you have mentioned these facts". I was taken aback. I went and checked my sent mail and found that I had sent my bio-data instead of my resume."

I - "You mean you send the marriage bio-data?"

K - "Yes."

I laughing now - "You really did that?"

K - "Yes. And S didn't even check it before forwarding it. In fact she saw it after forwarding it".

I laughing uncontrollably now

K blushing "Stop laughing"

I laughing even more

K now getting angry "Stop it will you"

I - "I am imagining how the HR would have felt when she opened your resume oops bio-data"

K - "Stop it"

I - "And then she would be putting it up in the Infy matrimony portal if they have one"

K - ''Ab bas karega"

I continue laughing and soon K joined in :)