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Friday, August 20, 2010

Shouldn't I be complaining?

Of late I have been seeing the behavior of a few friends change. That could be just my thought or that could be reality. I would tend to think they are as I see them. I will quote a few instances and you decide for yourself.

Let me start with KS. We have been very good friends for quite sometime. But I have seen some changes in him in the last few months. There have been quite some instances -
He had a self imposed ban on him from drinking and as a friend we (we here refers to a group) never forced him. But one day while travelling to a friend's marriage he didn't refuse on being asked by a guy we met only the second time.
He used to find time for friends but since getting engaged (almost) he has been it seems always on phone. So busy that he didn't even pick a phone of a bus mate who was running a little late.
We were watching movies. In the interval we asked him to bring us some nachos and pepsi to which he refused. Had he been asked by a girl or a relatively new friend he would have brought it.
Earlier he was game for parties but now he always comes up with a 'NO' one way or the other. Not that he doesn't go to parties but its just he prefers going with his team rather than friends.
Earlier he wouldn't mind attending parties even if he himself had to host one. But now suddenly he can't afford to party citing reason that he doesn't have money. But he has the money to finance his fiancé's trip and also to give party to his new project team for no reason whatsoever.
We were on bench for sometime and had loads of fun. He got a project a few days back and since then he has turned busy with little or no work. He prefers sitting on his seat doing nothing rather than sit or go out with friends.

Enough of KS I guess. Lets talk about SS. We were in together in my last project and were a close knit team. One day I saw his status on gtalk saying "Boston, USA". I was surprised and pinged him. He said he had just come. When I asked him why he didn't say anything before leaving he gave all sort of excuses.

Moving over to SG. We are friends since XII standard. Its been some time since we are in regular contact but once a while we do talk. But for last few months he had almost disappeared. I got the news of him getting a job from a common friend. He never bothered to call and share the good news.

Then there's SD. She went to UK on a 2 weeks trip but that got extended. And she didn't even bother to tell this.

There's another SG who is married now and in Bangalore. She booked a new car. she had been telling about buying the car all along but when the day of arrival of the car finally came she didn't bother to share the news. That again came from a common friend.

It seems I am complaining. Well I am; I have a right to do so. I can understand friends not wanting to share bad news but not wanting to share a good news is strange. At least for me. I will be waiting for your comments.

8 comments:

kunal singh said...

He had a self imposed ban on him from drinking and as a friend we (we here refers to a group) never forced him
[KS] I wanted to quit drinking, and you know I did that. But one day while travelling to a friend's marriage he didn't refuse on being asked by a guy we met only the second time
[KS] that is not completely true, I said no to it but then he and you asked me again to I decided to take it, remember??.

He used to find time for friends but since getting engaged (almost) he has been it seems always on phone
[KS] whatever be the case but I always reply. So busy that he didn't even pick a phone of a bus mate who was running a little late
[KS:] That was just a coincident, my phone was on vibration (on no ring) and I was walking so was didn’t realize that phone was ringing.

We were watching movies. In the interval we asked him to bring us some nachos and pepsi to which he refused. Had he been asked by a girl or a relatively new friend he would have brought it.
[KS] this is not correct, if I don’t have money how can I bring that?? Tell me??

Earlier he was game for parties but now he always comes up with a 'NO' one way or the other. Not that he doesn't go to parties but its just he prefers going with his team rather than friends.
[KS] this is a bad one now you cant blame me for this, I never said “NO” to party, it is just that due to something or other programs gets cancel and I am no where involved in that.

Earlier he would mind attending parties even if he himself had to host one. But now suddenly he can't afford to par citing reason that he doesn't have money. But he has the money to finance his fiancé's trip and also to give party to his project team for no reason whatsoever.
[KS] well financing her trip was really important and I can’t reveal the real cause/story behind that.

We were on bench for sometime and had loads of fun. He got a project a few days back and since then he has turned busy with little or no work. He prefers sitting on his seat doing nothing rather than sit or go out with friends.
[KS] this is not at all true, I don’t have any problem is going out with friends but if project demands me on my desk I cant help it.

UnknownWriter said...

@KS - here's my response to your comment. Go paragraph wise.

I never force anyone to drink just make a reference once or twice. I did the same that day also.

But you got to admit that your phone is always busy be it 6AM, 10 PM or afternoon :).

Its not about money dude its about the intent.

You are the planner everytime. It might be a coincidence then that plans have start not materializing these days.

What about giving party to your new project team and not your friends?

Is this the KS I know who is speaking?

Anonymous said...

Your complains are valid.. but you have forgotten one thing... the thumb rule..the golden rule...

"Every friendship comes with an Expiry date!!"

things change.. priorities change.. sometimes one or another things bug you and keep ur thots so much that you want to stay out of our normal life .. want to live like in a solitude.. i have experienced it myself.. for some reasons.. i didn't want anything to touch me in life..anyone close to me..friends..family..or fun... but as you are human ..and don't want to be alone by nature.. u choose to be with someone less known.. coz u know he wont bother you or bother about you and at the same time you wont be alone ......

life is hard sometimes... and in such cases we expect our best buddies to understand and let it go.... some times its easy to let go...

(by d w.. im not anyone of your mentioned frnds.. :) )

UnknownWriter said...

@Anonymous: I somehow tend to disagree with your golden rule. You just got to have such friends. I believe I have such friends and I also believe that my belief is true.

Faded Glory said...

Glad I dont figure in that list! :P or is a part 2 coming? :P

Faded Glory said...

Glad I dont figure in that list! :P or is a part 2 coming? :P

Anonymous said...

You will agree someday..

when girlfriend comes in the life.. priorities change..when wife comes in the life priorities change.. responsibilities change... .Work as such doesnt change much but rest do...it could one or other reason for that...

Friend is forever ..but friendship comes with an expiry date...

Unknown said...

dost wohi hota hai jo dusre dost ka har haal me samjhe..just put urself in KS shoes and then think..was it worth complaining...
Abt me, i had odd office hours and no net at hotel...