An evening with friends - the after-thought

In a previous post (http://strictly-my-views.blogspot.com/2009/01/evening-with-friends-events.html) I had mentioned about the events. There are lots of things in mind related to that evening.

I don't understand the relevence of stag entry. And I don't know if similar concept is there when it comes to girls although I think there isn't anything like stag entry in girls. To go to night club one needs to be with girls as if girls are access cards. And if I take any girl with me whom I may not know at all it would be fine but I need to be with a girl to enter the night club. Ridiculous. On the other hand a payment of Rs 500 or 1000 makes me eligible for entry. The whole idea is weird. Its good I don't dance or like to dance.

We went to Gurgaon as S was sure stag entry is allowed there. And when we reached there he was busy with his presentation. And then when we went out he didn't come with us as he had to finish the presentation ASAP. Work has higher priority than friends - understandable. But he had to finish early as he was going to Shimla with his college friends. Giving that priority over us - still understandable. But not conveying that to us before we reached his hostel - not understandable. It spoiled all the plans we were thinking of the next day. And not going to the disc even made me wonder why the hell did I go to Gurgaon; Delhi has lots of places to visit. Frankly speaking I didn't like the entire episode.

After we came out of TGIF I said I am not going to any other mall while others wanted to go. Finally I said you guys go and I will be staying here. They all went. D called me after some 10 minutes asking if I was comming and I said 'No'. In another 5 minutes they were back having gone to the mall having the discs but not going inside. I did not know whether to feel bad that they went leaving me behind or feel happy that they didn't actually go to the disc but returned as I was alone. And I still don't know. My point was I didn't want to go to the disc after having being turned down the first time.

If I ...

• If I do what I like then I am selfish
• If I do what others like me to do then I am stupid
• If I don't do anything then I am lazy
• If I do either of these at times then I am moody
• If I do what some people like me to do and don't do what others like me to do then I am biased
• If I ask questions about people then I am interfering in their lives
• If I don't ask questions about them then I don't care
• If I speak more then I am irritating
• If I speak less then I am boring
• If I offer my view point then I don't understand the other's perspective
• If I don't offer my view point then I am not helpful

An evening with friends - the events

This Saturday I went to meet my school friends. I often meet M and meet S a little less often but this time it was D for whom we were meeting. D works in Maruti and is nowadays posted in Indore. The plan - after all considerations - was finally made and it was to visit a night club (or disc as we call it) in Gurgaon. Only S lives in Gurgaon while the others live in Delhi, and still we went to Gurgaon because S said that in Delhi all night clubs have only couple entry while in Gurgaon stag entry is allowed.

I and M reached S's hostel room (S is studying in MDI) at around 7; D was already there. S was preparing a presentation. We asked him to close it and go out but he said he needed to finish it tonight as he was going out of town in the early hours of the next day. We did a bit of forcing but he didn't budge and he said he would meet us in couple of hours. As we (I, M and D) went towards M's car we found that he had locked the car and the keys were inside. A nice start for the evening. He managed to get the doors opened and finally we set out.

We reached Metropolitan mall and parked the car. Then we went inside the mall and started our search for a disc that would allow stag entries. The first supposed disc we went to didn't seem like a disc. Next we went to another disc in the same mall and he said for stag entries we need to pay Rs 500 per person as entry fees. We went inside, had a look at the disc and came out as we didn't like it.

We then went to Sahara mall. It had 3 discs. We enquired there. 2 of the discs refused straight away while the third one said we would have to pay Rs 1000 per person as cover charges.
Next stop Mojo at DT Mall. Same old story - initially no stag entry but after a little talk Rs 1000 per person as cover charge.

To hell with night clubs who have banned stag entry - A general feeling among the three of us. But D was still eager to hit the dance floor. I and M are a complete no-no when it comes to dance but we had still agreed for the program as the main agenda was meeting with friends. But now it was too much for me - so for me it was "No disc tonight".

Finally we decided to go to TGIF and have something to eat and drink. We ordered the food and drinks. D was still thinking of ways to get to the disc while I and M had dropped the idea. Just after the starters were served S joined us. We spend some 2 hours at TGIF and it was the best time of the entire evening. We had non-stop laughs, spoke about the good old days and pulled each others legs. We had a lot of fun with the BBQ sauce which no one liked and the sauce kept on changing it's seat moving from plate to plate but not being eaten. The wonderful time ended with a wonderful bill but we didn't mind. Only thing D said was "Rs 1000 cover charges would have been a better option". And as we came out he said he won't be comming to TGIF again.

S's cab would leave at 1:30 AM and it was 12. We had another 1.5 hours to spend. The others wanted to go to disc but I said I won't go. After much talk they went towards the other mall where the disc was while I sat outside TGIF. They returned without actually going to the disc. We took the car from parking and decided to go to Sahara mall and try some coffee at any open outlet. There was no open outlet. We had a small walk and then sat outside Sahara mall. D and S started playing with a 500ml pet bottle while M and I sat there. Outside the mall at the wee hours of night this was probably the best thing to do - isn't it? Don't bother to answer that. Well there were other things to watch as well which I wouldn't mention here.

At around 1:30 we dropped S at his college gate and then proceeded towards my home. We had decided to spend the night there and go for a movie the next day. We also had to find a parking place for D on the way so that he doesn't have to ride the bike in the winter night. We parked the bike as New Delhi railway station. The parking guy said that parking was open till 12 noon and then would reopen on 27th. So we had to get the bike before 12 noon. D and M said that if we go to sleep we would not be able to wake up before noon and so his bike would be stuck. So we decided not to go home and see Delhi night life. And the only place we knew that would be open at night was Comesum at Nizamuddin railway station. We went there. The place was crowded for this time in the night and it was good crowd with a mix of everything. There were couples, girls in all sorts of outfits, big and small groups, people waiting for trains and even a group of gays. We had a cup of coffee there and then started playing. We had our three cups and three stirrers. The game was to toss the stirrer from the edge of the table to our respective cups. Putting the stirrers in other's cups would mean negative points. It was fun being child again and we had loads of fun. M won the match while D managed to get negative score and I was stuck at zero. Then D had another game in mind. He folded a stirrer multiple times to decrease its surface area; then he inverted all the 3 cups and covered the stirrer with one cup. Then he started moving the cups randomly and in the end asked M which cup had the stirrer (something similar to the ones seen in Bollywood movies). That continued for sometime when one of the waiters came and asked us to stop as it didn't look good. But we continued it for some more time.

Finally we decided to head home. We took the car and they dropped me at my place. Then they drove towards the railway station. On the way they decided to catch some sleep so they parked the car on the side and slept in car for an hour or so. Then they went to the station, took D's bike and headed home.

Personal Conditioning - a conversation

H: jst read ur comment...
nose piercing strange to nahi

P: maybe strange is not the right word but then it is something similar
and again it is a personal choice
some like it some don’t

H: haan thts true..
its a personal choice...
bt haan for sure il not get a streak of blue hair:P

P: :)it was your idea not mine - i just quoted what u wrote

H: it wasnt meant for me - the idea was to do something diff to giv urself a new look

P: looks can be deceptive
so dont go by looks :P
waise I think blue streak is better than nose ring
somehow nose piercing doesn't appeal to me
and i didnt mean to hurt or upset u

H: I know
its one of the traditional pieces of jewelley in india

P: i know its traditional but still it doesn't appeal to me
it gives a gaon type feeling
dehati types
and its not bad but then seeing my frnds with nose rings doesn't go well with me
you can say its the mindset

H: yeh to perception hai - ki its dehaati

P: true
but then didn't u have it too some time back

H: yes - bt not anymore

P: maybe my perception will change sometime

H: :) thts wat i wrote on d blog ...perceptions change bhi hote hain

P: hote to hai
but kai baar nahi bhi hote hai:)

H: tht depends on social conditioning

P: not entirely
a lot of self conditioning is also involved

H: self is social too

P: i wld disagree to that

H: You are what social conditioning makes you

P: again disagree
you are brought up in a certain way and become the person you are from how you have grown

H: why do u say so
bringing up is part of social conditioning

P: now once you start understanding the outside world and become a part of it, get more exposure
this exposure makes you think abt what u already know
there are clashes
sometimes you feel what u already know is true
at other times you feel the things u know are wrong and the one you just learned is correct
there is change in your mindset
but the basic thing is your own belief and how much you stand strong with what you believed in so far
if your beliefs aren't that firm you get easily influenced by outside world
if your beliefs are firm you tend to stick to it

H: the outside world you are referring to, is the social conditioning
beliefs and values and ethics - again form from social conditioning

P: what you are taught is social conditioning
what you believe in is personal conditioning
which includes this is what I believe in and will stick to it
social conditioning and personal conditioning keep clashing

H: u dont learn like machine learning in social conditions
personal conditioning jaisi cheez hoti hi nahi

P: why do you say so ??????

H: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_conditioning

P: u see the point i am making
u believe in something which is stated
and since you dont find another thing which isn't stated u dont believe in it
it doesn't have to be a word or thing but it is the concept
maybe you would like to use words like behavior or culture or moral

H: the point im making - the perceptions are a product of our conditioning

P: lets take the example of nose piercing
we didn't like it sometime back
and i believe we weren't ever told explicitly that it is good thing or badn
ow your perception towards it has changed and mine hasn't
the factors more or less remained the same
what wld u call it?????

H: again the same thing social conditioning
try reading some artciles on social conditioning and operant conditioning
and the pavlov's dog experiment

P: will read that
chal let me give another example
claiming HRA
there are ppl claiming false HRA using jali receipts and signatures
every year in january you see ppl do that
some ppl also start doing so while others don't
what wld u call this??????

H: so thts a question of belief systemand value system

P: and what if i refer it as personal conditioning
how you have conditioned yourself

Want

I was talking to a friend yesterday. Its been sometime with nothing much to do for us on the work front. He said about the things he had done so far in his previous companies and the kind of things he wants to work on in his next projects. He had already planned the things he wanted to do which were mainly about working with the latest technologies. He has this habit of reading a lot and the only thing he reads about except newspapers is the technology related things.
And I have met many other people - some very good friends and others not so good - who have a list of things they want to do. Lets keep it restricted to the work life. In a company there are variety of projects and you get staffed into any of those projects which meet your skillset. Sometimes you get projects where in you are not familiar with the exact thing but have a background which enables you to understand it quickly or you have interest in that area. And sometimes you get projects where you are least interested but still have to do it. Some people would work only in those projects in which they have interest i.e. they want to work in; and if they don't get that kind of projects they would rather not take any other project. Other would be okay just about in any project. They say they adapt to any situation and are happy as long as they have work.
I have been wondering as to whether I should also have a 'want'; want a specific technology to work on, want a specific domain to work on or maybe a specific client to work for. But then when I think more on these I would say I would prefer to work in a good team under a good manager rather than on a latest technology. So you don't have a want and are adaptable and adjustable; isn't it? Or is it really so? You just said you wanted to work in a good team under a good manager. Doesn't that count for a want?
Different people would have different priorities like someone's priority might be a good leader, a good team, 9 to 5 job, onsite, a particular technology, etc. And doesn't this equate to a want? Just because you don't want something specific but something that's more towards a general thing, doesn't it equate to your 'want'? I say it does. Everyone has wants but it is only some people who go all out for it while others take a milder approach. And maybe they get away with being a person who doesn't have many wants.

Go Gunners Go

I am a football fan and closely follow the Barclays Premiere League with Arsenal being my favourite team. Arsenal is the best team to watch and when they are on song they can make any team look pedestrian. Players of the likes of Tony Adams, Dennis Bergkamp, Thiery Henry, Patrick Viera among others have donned the jersey. But during the past few seasons they haven't been doing that well and it hurts to see them without any silverware for the past 3 years. The main criticism associated with them that they try to score the perfect goal and this has resulted in their scoring very less compared to the chances they create. Another point of note is that they have a policy of grooming youngsters and playing with them rather than go for big signings. It looks good and with the history of the club it doesn't seem a bad thing to do; but I personally feel that there should be a few big names in the squad in order for them to win titles. From the days I have been following the league Arsenal have won quite a few titles including the Premiere league title but then they had the likes of Bergkamp, Henry, Viera, Seaman and Adams - all legends of the club and great players. And this kind of experience is needed in the middle to win games when the team isn't playing that well. Last season Arsenal let go a 8 point advantage and this season they are struggling to get even the 4th position. And their main playmaker Fabregas is out of action for a couple of months at least making them look very vulnerable. And still Arsenal are not looking to buy anyone big which some how I don't understand. People say money can't buy success but Chelsea bought their way to success when they won consecutive Premiere League titles. And Manchester United the current 2 time defending champs are spending on a few big signings a year and building up the squad. This year they acquired Berbatov a top class forward. I am not saying the players in the Arsenal squad are not good; they are very good and have a long way to go but what I am saying is you got to have big name players in the squad as it creates a fear in opposition and assurance in the team. A certain Thiery Henry in the squad makes a attack look threatening. A certain Viera in the middle gives the defense assurance. And these are lacking at present in the Arsenal squad. And the injuries to Rosicky, Walcott and Fabregas haven't helped the cause of Arsenal. I think its time Arsenal go for a big signing.
But whatever the case maybe, I want Arsenal to win some silverware soon and keep winning. All I will say is "Go gunners go" because when it comes to football they are the best to watch.

Sir

"I call everyone 'Sir' these days" one of my very close friend had once said to me.

There seems to have been a lot of changes in the way people address others. I was brought up in an atmosphere where in elders were called by names followed by 'dada'/'bhaiya' or 'didi' if they were not much older to you, 'uncle' or 'aunt' if they very much older to you. Would stick to people who were not much elder i.e. to bhaiya and didi. My childhood days was spent mostly in the eastern side of India - Patna, Kolkatta and Bhubaneswar. Then when I moved north to Delhi, I was in for a cultural shock. Here people used to call their elder siblings by just their names. I was very surprised byt his initially but got used to it soon although I still prefer to use the words bhaiya and didi for elders.

Then came the college days where in seniors were to be called 'sir'. I didn't mind calling them sir but the degradation of the word bhaiya was a surprise. A guy called a senior of his bhaiya and the reply he got was "Rickshaw wala samjha hai kya?". Strange are the ways here although I don't know if a similar terminology is used elsewhere as well. But then once you got friendly you were back to the calling by name only and between friends the age gap didn't lead to being addresses as bhaiya. Although the words like 'bhai' or 'bro' were commonly used.

Then came the corporate world. I called my project lead (PL) sir and he was kind of shocked. He said "you are supposed to call me only by my name". I said it would be kind of impossible for me to do so and that I would keep calling him sir. He finally gave in. But during the last few years I have been bitten by this bug as well where in you call your elders by name inside the office. I never thought I would be doing this but then somehow somewhere I got caught in the web.

The word 'sir' used to be used for addressing the likes of teachers. It was used to give respect to the people you are talking to. Nowadays the word is used just for the sake of it without actually meaning the repsect it is associated with. I though used the word for the actual respect it carries. So the people who are elder and whom I respect I would address them as 'sir'. It started like that where in I would call someone whom I respected as 'sir' and others simply by their name even though both were in the same designation/role. Now when they were together it seemed odd using sir for one and not for the other.
Another aspect was how I was being addressed. It sometimes felt a little bad when people who are quite younger to me call me just by name. Hearing the word 'sir' makes you feel respected but then if it wasn't meant for actual respect does it carry the same value. And it won't be wrong if I say that people should respect you for what you are and not because you are elder to them. But then you are told to respect your elders.

It was then I remembered the words of my friend - the one quoted at the top. He had said that the person with whom you are talking to doesn't feel offended and you don't have to mean it always. There's no harm in saying something which doesn't make you feel bad and makes the other feel good. So I adopted his philosophy. The first time I meet someone I would use the word 'sir'. With time the word 'sir' disappears as I know him better. However the persons who I truly respect I continue to call them 'sir'; its not a concious decision about whom to call sir and whom not but it happens automatically. If you really respect someone it would show and vise versa.

A song called "Bolo na"

I have made an observation over time that when I am listening to one of my favourite songs in my playlist there would be some disturbance inevitably. And that would happen specifically on a day when you put on your headphone specially to listen to some particular songs. I have never been able to get to the reasoning of this except for realising that this has to be more than mere coincidence because I have seen this happen over and over again. I am not sure if this happens to others also but I have been on the wrong side of this phenomenon. The disturbances range from the phone call of a sales person to the visit of one of your friends, from your teammate comming to ask you something or some phone call from someone after a very long time. And often the event that occurs is a rarity in itself but it chooses the perfect moment to take place. And it happened yet again as I write while listening to one of my latest favourite song "Bolo Na" By Sona Mahapatra.

One of the best songs I have heard of late and its my favourite these days. It managed to be the only song in my playlist for a good 3 days. The lyrics of the song are simply awesome. It so happened that a friend of mine sent me the song. The more I listen to it the more I want to listen. So a couple of days back I decided to do some research on the song starting with its lyrics. And I was unable to find the lyrics easily. After trying 3-4 different combinations for search I finally landed in a blog post where I found the lyrics. (here's the link if you are interested - http://komalthecoolk.blogspot.com/2006/11/bolo-na-lyrics.html). And from here only I got to know that this song has been sung by Sona Mahapatra and that this song was part of her debut album. I hadn't heard of her before. But then I don't claim to be very much interested towards music; its only that when I hear a song and like it I start researching about the songs. But then any day I would prefer to hear the likes of Hemant Kumar & Kishore Kumar compared to the modern day singers.

But this song here has certainly made me like it - so much that I am writing this blog here on it. The best thing I like about this song is its lyrics. Do go to the mentioned link to read the lyrics and I am sure you would be eager to hear the song once you read the lyrics. And do drop in your comments after you listen to the song.

A trip to Jaipur

This weekend I went to Jaipur with 3 of my friends. Last time the 4 of us had gone on a trip together was some 3-4 years back to Nainital; and boy that was some trip - 4 of us went in a car with the one driving not having license, NH-24 closed, we started in the evening, had to zig zag our way on either side of NH-24, got lost often and finally reached Nainital in the next morning. That was one hell of a trip (won't tell about it here). So this time when the 4 of us met again for another trip (and the assembling of the 4 of us was totally unplanned) there was lot of anticipation keeping in mind the previous trip.

The journey towards Jaipur
Me and M started from Delhi around 1:30 PM. We picked S from his Gurgaon hostel and went to pick the 4th person C. S who was the guide to C's house lost the way and we had to search our way to his house. Not a bad start is it? Finally we 4 got together had our lunch at Haldiram's and started for the 250 something KM drive with M at the wheel. We had supposedly booked a hotel room courtsey S but the booking wasn't confirmed as per S. We drove non-stop for some 4 hours and reached Jaipur. We wanted to stop for tea but didn't stop as M never stopped the car. During the journey the car (Opel Corsa) raced to 160+ KMPH. On reaching Jaipur we searched our way to the hotel (hotel Bliss) and found the room was booked in S's name which came as surprise to me (he never said he had booked the room and that he knew the room no).
It was 6:30 PM and we enquired about places we could visit at this hour. We had planned to go to Chauki Dhani in the night. C had been here before and was the one who was telling us the places to see. Unfortunately all forts had closed by 5 PM and we couldn't see them that day (after seeing Qutab Minar at night I was eager to visit a fort in the night - but all hopes were squashed). The only place we could visit before Chauki Dhani was Birla Mandir. We went there and it was a really beautiful temple. We spent some 20 mins thereand then decide to head towards Chauki Dhani which was some 26 Kms away. Had heard a lot about Chauki Dhani and now it was time to see it.

Chauki Dhani
We reached there around 8 and as we reached the gate after parking the car we saw a big queue. C had told us that this place gets very crowded. It was evident and why not - this is probabaly he only place to see in Jaipur at night. There were a lot of foreigners as well. While M and S stood in the queue I and C took some pics using C's handycam in nightshots. Finally we entered after buying tickets Rs 450 per person. We headed straight for dinner. The dinner was lavish. There were some 5-6 preparations apart from rice, bajre ki khichdi, rotis (plain, bajra and makka) and sweet dishes. The food was very good - the proper Rajasthani khana; had tasted Rajasthani food in trade fair but it was nothing compared to this. Except me all went for second round of food. The food was really good.
After that we climbed a machani to have a top view of the place. We weren't helped much by the trees all over the place but we did see a folk dance from up there. We could also see people enjoying camel rides. We climbed down and started exploring the place. I wanted to have a cup of tea so we proceeded towards the tea stall. I bought a cup of tea but it wasn't that good. We roamed here and there and saw some folk dances. I and C had our handycams for company and we were making full use of it. While I prefered videos C prefered taking 10 mega pixel photos. We saw a puppet show. Then we came across a palm reader and C was eager to get his palm read. As he sat down to hear about his future S took charge of the handycam to make the video. The palm reader said C would get married this year which led to him being congratulated. Further we just roamed there and saw people taking camel rides, elephant rides, camel carts, bullock carts. The weather was getting colder and we decided it was time to leave.

Back in hotel
We reached hotel and started playing cards. We started with seep then moved on to courtpiece. M was in his usual best trying not to be the dealer but mostly the dealing part fell on him. I and M were partners and we started winning once we moved to courtpiece from seep where we were losing. We played till about 3 AM before we finally hit the sack.

The next day
The next day we started waking up around 9 and go ready to leave by 10:30 AM. We checked-out of the hotel. We went towards Hawa Mahal and parked the car there. Took a auto the driver of which told us that he would take us to 4 places and would charge Rs50. We went with him in the auto which had 2 people facing towards the front while 2 looking towards the rear. We first went to a marble temple. Nearby we had our breakfast - a combination of paneer paratha, aloo paratha, gobhi paratha, mixed paratha, omlete, curd, tea and milk. After that we went to the city palace but it would open at 1 PM and the time was 12 noon. The autowala took us to a govt shop which opened only on Sundays and where there were only few selected goods which were Rajashthan specialities. I bought a rajai and sari, M bought a rajai while S and C bought bedcovers with pillow covers. The seciality of the rajai was that it gives warmth in winter while it becomes cool in summers. And it can be used as bed cover as well. After the shopping we went back to the car and dumped the stuff there. Then we went inside the Hawa Mahal. The wind was blowing quite well there synonymous to the name Hawa Mahal. The view from the top of it was quite beautiful ad we had our rounds of photographs. Then we went to the City Palace. Spend quite some time there viewing the Sabha Nivas (which was the regular meeting hall during older days), Museum (where clothes of the previous Rajas and Ranis were kept), Chandra Mahal, Arms gallery. Finally we went to the City Palace Cafe which is a restaurant inside the City Palace. It was a bit costly but then seeing the fort we felt like having a royal eat :).
After comming out of the fort we decided to go for some shopping - specifically some namkeens and Pan Gillori (stuffed dates where the stuffing is made of the masala used in pans). We walked a long way to reach some namkeen shops where we bought namkeens. Then we asked the place where we could buy Pan Gillori. Following the directions we finally reached a famous Pan shop named Murli Pan Wala. We bought Pan Gillori there. the guy there told us about a sweet shop famous for doodh ke laddoo. The shop's name is Bharat Mishthaan Bhandar. We walked a long way to reach there only to find it closed :(. Then we hurried back to the car as we were getting late. We left Jaipur at around 6PM.

The journey back
While returning it was already evening. Moreover C said that the road towards Delhi is not as smooth as it is the other way. And we found it to be exactly as he had said, the road wasn't so good for driving and it was getting dark. And Corsa has a very low flooring which was evident throughout the journey. So we had to be slower then others at speed breakers and also couldn't get the car down to the service roads even when we got stuck in jam. We managed to reach Delhi at around 10:45 PM, once again driving non-stop.

Overall the trip was great and thoroughly enjoyed; although the trip this time was far less eventful than our last time but then the trips like the previous ones happen once in a blue moon. And it was a good break from the routine life. A wonderful start to the new year :)

The choice is always yours

Yesterday I was returning home after watching a movie and decided to take the metro. As I reached the platform the metro train was leaving and I stood there seeing it leave without me. The next metro would come in another 4 minutes. Recently queues have been started to form at the metro station for boarding the metro - a nice initiative taken by the metro body I must say. And here I was now in the front of the queue (now that's an achievement in itself isn't it?). And since I had nothing to do for the next 4 minutes I got lost in my thoughts wondering whether I should be happy or sad on my current situation. I could be sad that I missed the last metro by a whisker. Or I could be happy that I will be the first person to board the next metro. What do I do?
And it brought me to think that life is just like that. In every opportunity you have the option of choosing whether to be happy or sad and the choice is entirely up to you. There's a line between being happy and being sad. And you cand ecide on which side of the line to stand. You can always regret on a lot of things that lead to the scenario; and if that is not enough you can always think of things that might happen if something goes wrong. On the contrary you could always think of what else could have wrong which didn't and now you are in a better position; and also you maythink of the good things that are going to happen from the position you are currently in.
The choice is always yours. People do things but not always it turns out the way they want it to and they have to start again. Some people say they made a mistake while others prefer to call it experience. What you would do is entirely your choice.