Sir

"I call everyone 'Sir' these days" one of my very close friend had once said to me.

There seems to have been a lot of changes in the way people address others. I was brought up in an atmosphere where in elders were called by names followed by 'dada'/'bhaiya' or 'didi' if they were not much older to you, 'uncle' or 'aunt' if they very much older to you. Would stick to people who were not much elder i.e. to bhaiya and didi. My childhood days was spent mostly in the eastern side of India - Patna, Kolkatta and Bhubaneswar. Then when I moved north to Delhi, I was in for a cultural shock. Here people used to call their elder siblings by just their names. I was very surprised byt his initially but got used to it soon although I still prefer to use the words bhaiya and didi for elders.

Then came the college days where in seniors were to be called 'sir'. I didn't mind calling them sir but the degradation of the word bhaiya was a surprise. A guy called a senior of his bhaiya and the reply he got was "Rickshaw wala samjha hai kya?". Strange are the ways here although I don't know if a similar terminology is used elsewhere as well. But then once you got friendly you were back to the calling by name only and between friends the age gap didn't lead to being addresses as bhaiya. Although the words like 'bhai' or 'bro' were commonly used.

Then came the corporate world. I called my project lead (PL) sir and he was kind of shocked. He said "you are supposed to call me only by my name". I said it would be kind of impossible for me to do so and that I would keep calling him sir. He finally gave in. But during the last few years I have been bitten by this bug as well where in you call your elders by name inside the office. I never thought I would be doing this but then somehow somewhere I got caught in the web.

The word 'sir' used to be used for addressing the likes of teachers. It was used to give respect to the people you are talking to. Nowadays the word is used just for the sake of it without actually meaning the repsect it is associated with. I though used the word for the actual respect it carries. So the people who are elder and whom I respect I would address them as 'sir'. It started like that where in I would call someone whom I respected as 'sir' and others simply by their name even though both were in the same designation/role. Now when they were together it seemed odd using sir for one and not for the other.
Another aspect was how I was being addressed. It sometimes felt a little bad when people who are quite younger to me call me just by name. Hearing the word 'sir' makes you feel respected but then if it wasn't meant for actual respect does it carry the same value. And it won't be wrong if I say that people should respect you for what you are and not because you are elder to them. But then you are told to respect your elders.

It was then I remembered the words of my friend - the one quoted at the top. He had said that the person with whom you are talking to doesn't feel offended and you don't have to mean it always. There's no harm in saying something which doesn't make you feel bad and makes the other feel good. So I adopted his philosophy. The first time I meet someone I would use the word 'sir'. With time the word 'sir' disappears as I know him better. However the persons who I truly respect I continue to call them 'sir'; its not a concious decision about whom to call sir and whom not but it happens automatically. If you really respect someone it would show and vise versa.