"That thing called Love"

"That thing called Love" by Tuhin A Sinha.
I read this book a few weeks back and found it quite good. The name of the book got me attracted towards the book and the summary also suggested towards an interesting story. This led me to buy the book and I don't regret buying and reading it.
The story revolves around a guy who is engaged to a girl but falls in love with another woman who happens to be older than him and married as well. Thery become friends - very close friends - and share their personal lives with each other. The guy doesn't say her that he loves her and everyone feels rather believes that he loves her but the girl doesn't realize. The guys 2 friends warn him against the consequences but he doesn't listen to them. His friends are caught up with their own troubles in their lives. The author captures the events beautifully. Every character and his story is well written although the main characters get the limelight but I really liked the way the other stories are captured. The book is a fast paced book and you feel like reading it on till you finish it.
The book has lots of things to talk upon and has the plot to be transformed into a movie. I will not go into the details of the story now :).
It doesn't look as if it's his first book. I would compliment the author for the way he has handles the complicated scenarios. It was a nice reading indeed.
I would give the book a rating of 8 out of 10.

A trip to Qutub Minar

This Saturday I went to Qutub Minar with my parents and uncle-aunty. I thought "who visits Qutub Minar these days apart from tourists" and thought it would be boring. We reached there just after 5 PM. When we reached the ticket counter it was closing. The guard said it will reopen at 5:30 PM for night viewing. The charges were double - Rs20 as compared to Rs10 till 5PM. And we had to wait about 25 minutes before we could get the tickets. And I was thinking is it worth the wait. My uncle and his family live in the USA and wanted to see Qutub Minar so we had to wait. At the ticket counter I read that the ticket charges for Indian nationals was Rs10 while for foreigners it was Rs250. I wondered whether I should be happy that I have to pay less or should I be unhappy with the inequality.
Finally it was 5:30PM and we got the tickets. When we reached the gate the gate was locked. The people who were already inside were being ushered out as their time was up. The guard said we would be allowed to enter only after everyone inside has come out. Finally at around 5:45PM we were able to go in.
Surprisingly the view was pretty good. As we went nearer to the Minar I started liking the place contrary to my initial thoughts. In fact I started liking the place more as we stayed there. Lighting was also begining to take its effect and it was looking beautiful. There were lots of flashes as cameras were in action. People including a lot of tourists were taking pictures from all possible angles to capture the beauty of the Qutub Minar. There was lot of enthusiasm among people which reminded me of how I felt the first time I had come to see it some 12 years back. The whole atmosphere was making me feel pretty good and I thought I could spend hours just sitting there. But soon it was time to go.
What I thought was going to be boring and a waste of time turned out to be pretty good and I ended up enjoying the visit to Qutub Minar.

"Anything for you ma'am"

Recently read a book called "Anyhting for you ma'am" by Tushar Raheja. I found the concept good but didn't find the book that good overall. In parts the book has been written very well but at places it feels as if I should put this down.
The book is about a lover's journey - who happens to be an IITian - to meet his love. The guy is in Delhi and his love is in Chennai. The twists and turns could very well be part of a bollywood movie - a old friend of the guy arranging for him to stay in Chennai happens to have his love in Delhi (call it coincidence); a doctor from whom he needs a false medical certificate turns out to be his father's classmate and the doctor owes something his father (interesting) - There are lots of such coincidences (if you may call it so) which I shouldn't be revealing here, that makes the book qualify to be read.
The book has been written by a first time author is evident at places where in he tries to create suspense but ends up dragging the thing too long to the dismay of the reader. Then he tries to capture the conversations between people to create the same atmosphere in which they took place but fails to do so. He hasn't been able to create the scenario as he was visualizing them and the reader may feel he could have done without this. He has failed often in his attempt to dramatize the thing.
I have been thinking about writing a book for quite some time. And the way I had thought of writing the book resembles the way Tushar has written the book especially the conversation part. But after reading this I feel it is pretty difficult to give the words the same feel as it has while being spoken. I might have to think of putting those in a different way now. (Thanks to "Anything for ...")

If I have to rate this book I would give it 6/10.

PS: I am not a book reviewer and everything written here is my personal opinion. Reading the book or not is individual's decision.

"I know everything"

Have you ever met someone who says "I know everything" whenever you try to tell them something which is opposed to their thinking. I would have to admit though that there's a similar person in every person but its presence in some people are more than in others. Confused? Let me clear the confusion. Whenever you are doing something and someone comes and says you shouldn't be doing it this way majority would reply by saying "I know how to do it.". A few would though ask what the better way to do it is but these kind of people are very few. Then there are those who wouldn't budge from doing the way they feel its good unless they fail or actually see someone doing it better. And these people would also give it a second thought if a no of people say to them that they are doing it incorrectly. But then there are a few species who wouldn't accept they are wrong no matter what. Lets divide the people into different groups for our convenience -

• GroupA - people who would listen to others
• GroupB - people who would listen to others only after failure or a no of attempts
• GroupC - people who wouldn't listen until they have no option

What happens when you encounter people of GroupC or people of GroupB who are tending towards GroupC. You can see them going downhill but can't do anything to stop them. For however hard you try to show them where they are heading to you would fail. Instead you will end up listening to a theory which would suggest they are going uphill. (Its true that the grass is always greener on the other side). Now you may ask how can you be so sure that you are right and the other person is wrong. Valid question. Lets see how I answer this.

I would say "This is the logical thing to do and these are my reasoning ..."

There would be a counter reasoning to it for sure.

Now I would say "If you ask more people 99% will agree with me".

Good point. But is it?

The respone would be "If everyone had adhered to what majority said we might have still been in jungle hunting for food"

Stumped?

Strange but true for every heads there is tails (not if you are using the coin from Sholay :)). No matter how hard you try to convince people you will fail. You will end up getting irritated, frustrated and ending up saying "Do whatever you like. Don't blame me in the end." (I know this because I am pretty tough to convince but don't start putting me in GroupC I am pretty much central to GroupB :)). So what's the best method to deal with them. Frankly speaking I don't know and am trying to figure out of late. What I think is the best way is to let them fall and maybe that will amke them realize. If they don't fall try and see how they survived (you could have been wrong). And if they don't realize even after falling then let them fall again.

You know what, they say "keep trying until you succeed" and also "don't let failures bother you, one who doersn't give up on failures succeeds in the end". But they also say "Courage isn't about not letting things go but sometimes sit down and let things go". Confusing isn't it - one side tells you to keep persisting while the other says to let go. The important question here is where to draw the line. There's no hard and fast rule;this varies from person to person as to where he sees the line. Before deciding always consider other viewpoint. Listen to all but do your own.

My only advice to all - "Have no regrets."

"Woh afsana jisey anjam tak lana na ho mumkin, Usey ik khoobsurat mod de kar chorna achha"

Recently read 4 lines of Sahir Ludhiyanvi which goes like -

"Taa'ruf rog ban jaye to us ko bhoolna behtar
Ta'aluq bojh ban jaye to us ka torna acha
Woh afsana jisey anjam tak lana na ho mumkin
Usey ik khoobsurat mod de kar chorna achha"
I came across it while reading a book (not a book on shayri); will discuss about the book maybe in some future post. The books not the point here but the sher (if you call it a sher).

How apt are the lines especially the last 2 lines; in fact I was stuck in these lines for some seconds before I could move on. It made me think if everyone starts following this maybe there would be lot less pain in the world. There have been lots of heart breaks happening around and the most common things that I hear is "If he/she knew it from the beginning why did s/he get this far", "It was so nice and now suddenly his/her parents don't want us to be together. I don't want him/her to go against his/her parents but ...". Some of my friends have ven spoken to me about this and I would always say them "Give it your best shot and then feel good that you tried your best. Whatever the outcome face it and move ahead". And then when I read these (the sher) words I wondered if this was the best way to summarize it all. (In fact I was tempted to try my hands in shaiyri - not that this is the first time I have thought so - but I would save you that for the time being :)). There goes another thought on the similar lines which says something like - "Don't regret that it is over but smile coz it happened". Easier said than done - isn't it? In fact if you happen to do a survey 99% of those who have faced the situation will say it is good to read but impossible to follow while those who haven't faced such situation yet would say it is the practical thing to do. I am not going to blame them for this because it is very difficult to let go. But somehow I happen to believe in the 1% (or you can call it 2%). It is indeed the most practical thing to do; besides dragging it or not comming of it will only bring unhappiness.

Being a true libran that I am (most of the people who know me say so) let me bring in a counter argument which majority of the 99% will agree to. If you know fromt he very beginning that it won't be possible (read feasable) to be together why start it in the first place. And if it happens that you didn't realize that you have come close but this won't last forever why didn't you stop at that moment. Then one could as well say "Nothings impossible you are not brave enough to do it". And you tend to agree to this depending mainly on whose side you are; and sometimes how rebellious you are (that just came to my mind). And sometimes (if not many times) it is indeed true that people don't go to the extent they should which hurts even more.

Now to take sides or rather to put forth my views I very much agree to the sher. In fact I always say "Have no regrets". You did things because you wanted to do those and if that scenario comes again you would probabaly do the same. So why regret. And in the matters of the heart there is a bigger picture to look at. Its not always lack of courage that makes the person decide on not living together. Marriage needs to take care of lots of things and not just love. The plain fact that proves this is love marriages are more prone to divorces (don't ask me the source as I don't have any and I still call it a fact). All I would say is marriage is not the only destination for love.
If you tell me "you are just like those guys..." I would say "I am not him and I did no wrong to you". If you tell me "you don't know how it feels as you haven't been in that situation" and I will reply "One doesn't need to touch the fire to see that it burns". If you tell me "you can let go things easily but not everyone can" I would say "Everyone can; its just that either they don't know they can or they don't want to".

Just now I saw the preview of this post and it seems quite long. I guess its time to stop now. And I won't go back to edit the post as I have written the things as they came to my mind and I believe it should stay the way it has shaped up although I do get a feeling that it wasn't the way I had expected it to shape up when I started writing.

Should I blog?

The wikipedia concludes the definition of a blog by saying - 'the word blog has taken on an even looser meaning — that of any bit of media wherein the subject expresses his opinion or simply talks about something'

Of late I have been reading a lot of blogs - typically those which doesn't talk about events but where the blogger tells his/her feelings, opinions or perceptions/interpretations. While going through some I was wondering how they could write that way. Writing about them, about things happening to/around them something which I feel too personal. Its like exposing yourself in front of the world. I don't think I could ever do it, that is write so candidly about me which would be read by people I don't know and who don't know me; least of all keep it for everyone to read. Not that I don't want to do it but its something I don't think I can do. Of course I would like to let people know the way I think, I would like people to know me better and maybe how people see me. But on the contrary I don't usually like telling about me. I think I can put it this way - "I don't want people to know the real me from my writings."

I started thinking whether I should actually be blogging. Describing major events that are happening around is something every site covers; so it is virtually rules out among things to write about. Candidly telling about me is something I just can't do. Writing about others is something I wouldn't prefer; and making this a medium to carry out frustration - well that's not me. So should I really write blogs?

This prompted me to go to wiki and actually see how they have defined 'blog'. While going through he definition this stuck me most (the one stated at the start of the blog) - '... the subject expresses his opinion or simply talks about something'. This reminded me that this is probabaly the reason I started writing in the first place - that is to express my opinion. It doesn't matter what people think as this is my space and my blog. And this makes me feel that I should write.

While reading blogs ...

Today morning while I was going through a few blogs of a friend of a friend of mine I got a strange feeling of resemblence with blogger. I don't know him and neither had I heard about him but the more I read his blogs the more he sounded familiar. The way he had written I couldn't help but think that I would have written in a very similar way as he has. Some of the topics that he had written on were pretty much the same I would have loved to write on; and the way he had written them I could feel myself writing some of the lines.
This prompted me to ask my friend about this guy. And she says we are somewhat similar but doesn't want to tell how :(.
You often come across texts or incidents where you can relate to them; it happens to me and I believe it happens to everyone. But today it was not the text but the person who wrote them was what I could relate to; that too when I don't know the person.

Friends - as we grow

Friends change as we grow and so does the way of friendship. If you happen to look down the memory lane you will find the no of calls you had with your friends in college days was far more than that you have with them now. Those were the days when you met your friends everyday and still had the time and zeal to call them in the evenings and there was no shortage of things to talk - you could spend hours talking. But now when you are working and are busy with your life you hardly find time to call your friends. And even when you do call someone you hardly have anything to talk to. The conversation converts into both saying "What's up?", "Anything new?", "Aur kisi se baat huyi" (Heard from anyone else) etc. After a couple of minutes there's nothing to speak. There was a time then when you would call to tell that your practical file is completed, assignment is over or you are bored with studying; but now you don't even call to tell that you are going out of town/country for certain no of days. There was a time when you would call and say "let's meet in 15 mins" and you would be there; and now you say "it's been a long time and we should meet", then a plan is made, modified and ends up with one saying "I am a bit busy these days, once the work gets done I will make a plan and call others as well" - That's where it ends untill the next call which again starts with "we should meet". There was a time when you didn't have to give a second thought before agreeing to meet; and now you have to think twice even to deicde whether to call or not. Earlier you would just call and say "CP aaja lunch karte hai" (Lets have lunch at CP); and now going to meet seems like wastage of time even though you have nothing else to do.

I often wonder that isn't it now when you are so busy with your life that you need breaks from it; you need to spend time with your friends, to go back to those days when you had so much fun, to spend time away from your normal routines, enjoy the moments of joy spending with friends. But strangely you have become so far apart that its almost like taking an appointment to meet friends that too if you don't get any last minute work.
When you see newcomers straight out of college (freshers as we call them) comming in groups and chit-chatting in cafeteria/canteen, you tend to remember the days when you had joined office. Maybe the work load wasn't so much then but you still had work to do and lots to learn; but you still had time for friends. Slowly the coffee breaks have come down, you prefer to bring the coffee to your seat, what once seemed like a welcome call for a coffee now seems like an interuption.
And finally when you do get a break for a day or two, you feel like sleeping rather then going out somewhere. TV and PC have replaced the phone calls and friends. Sleep has replaced the activities and reading part. Lying down and watching TV has become the major activity.

I just wonder how things change as we grow and so does the way of friendship. I feel like picking up the phone and calling all the old friends but then I think "they would be busy right now, I will call them later". And when does that later comes ..................