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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The burden is increasing

There are a lot of thoughts in my mind; in fact for quite some time they have been there. I have been thinking a lot about them but the more I think about them the more I get confused. The thoughts keep on seeking my attention and at times they would get some time but nothing happens; and they remain just that - thoughts. It feels kind of a pressure cooker where in the pressure is continuously increasing.
Of late I have started feeling the heat of the thoughts that has been disturbing my thought process. Although there has been no visible effect (this is my guess), sooner or later it will show up. Of course I will figure out a way; but when I don't know.
There are a lot of things I could do, rather should do, but I haven't been doing; and that too for no good reason. I would decide on doing a few things, then postpone it and then again postpone it. It seems as if I don't want to do anything; but then I want to do them. Its like I want to do 'A' but don't want to do it, want to do 'B' and don't want to do it (I know it sounds crazy). And in between I am doing what I am supposed to do and doing it the way it should be done.
My mind has become a complete jigsaw puzzle which needs to be sorted out. Sometimes I feel I am leading 2 lives at the same time - one visible to me and one to the world - and they are unaware of each other. The mind and the body are taking the burden. And the burden is increasing.
People say when you discuss things the burden decreases. Sharing your feelings helps you to calm down and release some of the pressure you have. I also advice the same to others - "instead of letting the things boil within you, you should bring them out". But in my case it seems to be working the other way. Speaking out seems to increase the burden. I spoke about some of my thoughts to someone today and the burden seems to have increased.
I am writing this post as this is supposed to make me feel better (according to one of my close friend). This doesn't seem to work either. The burden is increasing...

9 comments:

Manas said...

writing the post will not make you feel better..
unless you describe "A" and "B"

Faded Glory said...

whats troubling you dear friend?? Have you taken the pressure cooker for the six monthly servicing? :)

Mr. Offender said...

Buddy u r in a serios mess.........

Try Kailash Ayurveda Centre, Greater Noida take a package for 2 days......

Hope that can help a bit.......

UnknownWriter said...

@Manas
A and B can't be described and it is not restricted to just A and B but extends to C,D,E etc

@Faded Glory
Speaking out isn't helping :( but thanks for asking :)

@Mr. Offender
I maybe in serious mess but don't intend to increase it :P Thanks for the suggesstion though ;)

Manas said...

only thing that cant be described are those that one is not aware of or those that one is afraid to share for whatever reason.

so what if its not limited to a and b.... describe e,f,g ... x,y,z. everything.
we often think that the things are too many and too complex to describe... but the fact is nothing is.. life is simpler than simple.

UnknownWriter said...

There are things that are to be kept to oneself or to be shared only with a few people who are close to you and/or people who you think can help get you answers.

Faded Glory said...

@Unknown writer - You obviously dont think of me as close enough to share :(

UnknownWriter said...

Hey its not like that; you are very close but I am not sure if you can help me get the answers; and more importantly you already have a lot of thinking so don't want to trouble you with more thinking as of now :)

Ghost said...

Assi vele hainn :D :P